What am I Doing with My Life?

~I close my eyes, the clock rewinds and I see myself in my early twenties. My skin is a bit softer and my spirit is less jaded. I am 20 years old and I am wondering what I should do with my life. Should I go to college and get a career? How will I find the perfect job? What if I get a student loan and can’t pay it back? Is this what I really want?

~I don’t know what I want to do with my life.~

Fast forward.1795724_10153783477570444_852409181_n

Now I am 21 years old and my mind is full of new-found knowledge. I am a Dental Assistant. Why? I have no idea. One day I went to a career counselor and took a Myers Brigs test and this test told me all the professions I would be best suited for. I took the test and now I am a Dental Assistant because there were so many things to choose from. I just closed my eyes and placed my finger in the center of the paper. Now I have a career.

Fast forward.

Now I am 23. I worked in an office for a short while and saved a bit of money. What if I could travel the world? What if I could experience new things? What kind of adventure would I find? Is it possible to live your dreams?

So I travel.

I take out a loan and I take my life savings and I don’t care what anyone says. I travel. I have the most incredible journey I could ever imagine. I see animals I have never seen before. Colors so bright. I am so happy standing in the ocean with hands in the clean air and I just…cry. I cry for the happiest moment of my life. I jump out of a plane in New Zealand. I cascade down white rapids in Thailand. I dive into a cave in Fiji. I live and work in Australia. I never want to come back.

Fast forward.

I am in an office again. I am 26 years old. My student loan payments are behind and I’ve racked up a credit card. All I want to do is travel again, but how can I make that happen? How can I get out of this debt? What am I going to do? What am i doing with my life? I wish I could travel again.

So I travel.

Fast forward.

Now I am 28 years old. I traveled down to Mexico for a short trip. It was a tease. It was not long enough to satisfy my desire to travel. I am no longer a Dental Assistant. I am struggling with debt. I have anxiety which really puts a damper on things. I am a Personal Trainer, but that’s not making me any money. I want to write again.

So I write.

I am struggling for money. My first career didn’t work out. My second career is not really working as well as I’d hoped. But I am happy. I love life and I know one day if I am patient, I will travel again. I’m staying positive.

Fast forward.

Now I am 30 years old. My skin is not as soft as it used to be. I am slightly jaded but that’s OK. I am no longer a Personal Trainer. My first career didn’t work out. My second career didn’t work out. I am happy. Why am I happy? Why would I be perfectly OK that everything didn’t work out?

Pause.

Because now I write.

NOW I follow my dreams. I follow the path I was truly meant to be on. I was never meant to be a Dental Assistant. I was never meant to be a Personal Trainer. I was never meant to stay here forever.

I was born to travel the world. I am a writer. I was always meant to be a writer. I was always meant to be a traveler. No one can ever tell me anything different ever again. I will not conform to the everyday norm. I will not just go get a job because it’s what everyone else does. I will not sit here and let life pass me by any longer. I will write. I will travel.

What am I doing with my life?

I know what I want to do with my life.

I am doing whatever I want. I am finally following my dreams.

Right now.

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3 thoughts on “What am I Doing with My Life?

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